A Parents Guide to Child Therapy: Balancing Support and Readiness

Successful psychotherapy requires a skilled and prepared therapist, but the process also depends on the engagement and motivation of the person seeking support. When it comes to adults, the decision to start therapy is typically a personal one. Adults often research therapists, attend initial consultations, and assess if a therapist is a good fit before committing to the process.

For children, however, the path to therapy can look different. While some children may express a desire to speak with a mental health professional, it’s not always the case. In many families, children might not feel comfortable initiating these conversations. As a result, parents often take the first step by seeking out a therapist when they notice concerning behaviors or emotional struggles in their child.

Parents play a vital role in this journey, carefully researching therapists and deciding whether to pursue in-person or online options. They may arrange introductory meetings to find the right fit for their child. While it’s natural to hope that the therapist's skills alone will be the key to positive change, a successful therapeutic process is more nuanced. It often hinges on the child’s willingness to engage in therapy.

Sometimes, despite a parent's best efforts, a child may resist therapy or show little progress, leading to questions about whether the sessions are helping. In these cases, it’s essential to consider who is most invested in the process—the child or the parent. When therapy is driven solely by a parent’s concern without the child’s active interest, it can be challenging for meaningful change to occur.

There is a common belief that a child’s behavior can be "fixed" through therapy alone. In reality, therapy tends to be most effective in two scenarios: when a child feels ready to seek help to address their concerns with a supportive adult outside the family, or when parents themselves are open to exploring ways to strengthen their parenting strategies and family dynamics.

For younger children, "being interested in therapy" often means having a positive, engaging experience during sessions. Regardless of the therapeutic approach, they benefit from a safe, trusting environment where they feel respected and understood. This can help foster healthy interpersonal relationships and emotional development.

With teenagers, things can be more complex. Adolescents need to be personally motivated to engage in therapy, often because they can recognize and want to address specific challenges such as anxiety, mood difficulties, or social issues. When parents initiate therapy based on concerns about their teen’s behavior or emotions, it’s crucial to ensure the teen feels supported rather than pressured. If therapy feels like something they are doing "for their parents," the benefits may be limited.

Parents should be open to the possibility that the best path may involve working on their own approaches and communication with their child. Therapy can be a tool for both child-focused support and parent-focused guidance. Considering both options can help create a supportive environment for everyone involved.



If you’re unsure where to start, ask yourself: “Who needs support most right now?” Whether it’s psychotherapy for your child or parenting counseling for yourself, both approaches can lead to healthier, stronger family relationships.